tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81991984506905901342024-03-14T03:16:32.587-07:00J&K ChristophersonKrystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-32618291512365218552023-04-10T11:56:00.006-07:002023-04-10T11:56:43.429-07:00Once again<p> I find that, once again, I am compelled to blog. </p><p>Here goes...</p>Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-63685397445511196872016-06-05T02:38:00.001-07:002016-06-05T02:38:53.825-07:00Don't ask, don't tell...I got married 9 years ago.<br />
I moved away from home immediately after getting married.<br />
4 years later I moved even further away.<br />
<br />
The first move was exciting.<br />
I was young, in love, and ready to stand on my own two feet with my husband by my side.<br />
I made friends easily. I worked full time. I enjoyed being in charge of my own life.<br />
I participated in activities outside of work regularly.<br />
It was fabulous.<br />
<br />
I got fired. That royally sucked.<br />
I felt isolated.<br />
My husband's school became more and more questionable (ethics related - whole other story).<br />
I started taking antidepressants.<br />
I found work again, but money was tight.<br />
We got pregnant.<br />
I was excited!<br />
Jay quit school early to pursue a career.<br />
I had a baby.<br />
I quit work to be a stay at home mommy.<br />
We used WIC, paid heavily for COBRA medical insurance, and even had to ask for monetary help from the church.<br />
All our savings disappeared.<br />
It was uneasy.<br />
I felt guilty.<br />
<br />
Jay got a job.<br />
We moved.<br />
I panicked.<br />
I tried to stay positive and get organized.<br />
I found a doctor for my baby.<br />
<br />
I broke down when asked how I was doing...<br />
I worried those people.<br />
I was encourage and ushered into asking for help from a medical source.<br />
I was 100% honest in the heat of the moment.<br />
I was institutionalized.<br />
I felt supremely guilty.<br />
I couldn't nurse my baby.<br />
I couldn't see my baby.<br />
I was terrified.<br />
The doctor said I didn't need to be there.<br />
I was allowed to leave.<br />
I felt guilty for how much money I unintentionally cost us from all of that.<br />
My parents loaned us money.<br />
I felt helpless.<br />
My church knew the basic circumstances.<br />
I had earned a label.<br />
I was immediately aware of the social stigma that accompanied that knowledge.<br />
<br />
I got pregnant again.<br />
I was hopeful.<br />
We increased our habitat size.<br />
We acquired a family vehicle.<br />
I felt happy.<br />
<br />
It was winter.<br />
I had an emergency cesarian section.<br />
I had another baby girl.<br />
I was slightly disappointed, but calm.<br />
My baby girl had breathing issues.<br />
We took infant CPR.<br />
I was terrified.<br />
I had to take special care of this little baby.<br />
I didn't sleep very much.<br />
We stopped going to church.<br />
<br />
We flew home for Christmas.<br />
I felt out of place.<br />
We didn't celebrate "at home."<br />
I was yelled at for not being a better mother.<br />
I felt disowned.<br />
<br />
We flew back to Idaho.<br />
My baby threw up blood.<br />
I panicked.<br />
More medical necessities for this tiny baby.<br />
More money than anticipated.<br />
I felt guilty again.<br />
<br />
We got new neighbors.<br />
I was asked if we were Mormon.<br />
We started going to church again to support our neighbors going back to church.<br />
I felt guilty for having been absent for so long.<br />
I felt the need to be an advocate for my neighbor.<br />
We got a new Bishop.<br />
My neighbors received help.<br />
I had a new friend.<br />
I shared my dark sides with her.<br />
I felt accepted by someone.<br />
It was relieving.<br />
<br />
Time marched on.<br />
I helped coordinate my 10 year class reunion.<br />
I felt inadequate because of the success many of them had achieved.<br />
I got pregnant.<br />
I was anxiously happy.<br />
<br />
I miscarried.<br />
<br />
I shared the news with those whom had known I was pregnant.<br />
I closed off social media.<br />
I couldn't be happy looking at other's happiness.<br />
I felt so empty and hollow.<br />
I sank into postpartum depression.<br />
I didn't expect that.<br />
I felt guilty.<br />
I joined a group.<br />
It somewhat helped.<br />
But I felt guilty for morning my loss because of the circumstances that made it occur (whole other story).<br />
<br />
I started to journal.<br />
<br />
My neighbor moved away.<br />
I got church callings.<br />
I kept distracted.<br />
I didn't allow myself to be captivated by what I lacked.<br />
I changed antidepressants.<br />
I found a preschool for my daughter.<br />
I kept us busy all summer.<br />
I started having panic attacks.<br />
<br />
We were offered a spot in a different class at the preschool that met more often.<br />
I accepted for Autumn's sake.<br />
I realized the preschool wasn't what I needed/hoped it to be.<br />
I decided to plow through it because of the tuition scholarship we received.<br />
It created a lot of social anxiety and obligatory guilt for myself.<br />
I felt I owed devotion.<br />
<br />
Medication increased.<br />
I started to feel like myself again.<br />
<br />
I got hit by a bus.<br />
Yes, you read that right.<br />
I was OK.<br />
We got a new car.<br />
<br />
I got pregnant.<br />
I was excited.<br />
Christmas was happy. We shared the news.<br />
I started to feel happy anxious anticipation.<br />
<br />
Then I started to slide back into darkness.<br />
Lonely, isolated, angry, inadequate darkness.<br />
My medication was increased.<br />
Spring arrived.<br />
<br />
Bad news hit.<br />
I felt jealous of the relief someone else achieved through suicide.<br />
I was concerned at my emotion toward it.<br />
I was not desiring self-harm, but I was jealous of their end to pain.<br />
I felt irrational.<br />
I wasn't trusting of this thought process.<br />
My medication was increased again.<br />
<br />
My grandpa got sick.<br />
We went to see him.<br />
I knew I had said my final goodbye as we drove away.<br />
He passed.<br />
I sang at his funeral.<br />
I truly began to morn afterward. In private. As I always do.<br />
<br />
I got very sick.<br />
Nobody knows for certain the cause.<br />
Mother's day was spent in bed.<br />
I got prescribed medication.<br />
My birthday arrived. I was still very sick.<br />
I pushed through it.<br />
<br />
I got dehydrated.<br />
I fainted twice.<br />
I was terrified.<br />
Jay was anxious, which makes him angry.<br />
I've been ordered to consume more water and rest more.<br />
I'm doing my best to.<br />
<br />
School ended.<br />
I'm still sick.<br />
I'm on more meds.<br />
I'm hopeful it's on its way out, but not optimistic.<br />
<br />
I feel depleted.<br />
I'm angry a lot.<br />
I don't enjoy very many things.<br />
<br />
I'm afraid of being asked how I'm doing because it makes me cry and people close of when there's too much information given.<br />
I'm afraid of not telling how I'm doing because I've seen that lead to worse outcomes.<br />
I'm not doing well.<br />
I want help.<br />
But I can't give back right now.<br />
<br />
I can't take on any emotional, physical, or psychological problems that aren't my own for fear I'd break.<br />
<br />
I bottle my own demons when I feel like I can help someone else.<br />
Those demons only grow in confinement.<br />
Then they break out when nobody is around.<br />
They know I don't want others to see them because they could create demons in others.<br />
I bridle them in small amounts to allow my doctors to examine them and help me combat them bit by bit.<br />
None of them are dead yet.<br />
None are yet defeated.<br />
<br />
It's difficult to know who can safely help.<br />
It's scary to cross the "don't tell" line that is not always visible.<br />
It's almost impossible to allow myself to be 100% vulnerable to someone else because of my history.<br />
<br />
I've learned to not tell, to avoid being asked, and to hide the demons because that is what is most socially acceptable.<br />
<br />
I'm imprisoned by society's unspoken rules about mental health.<br />
I'm imprisoned by society's unspoken rule about airing your dirty laundry.<br />
I'm imprisoned by how unsafe it can be to be 100% honest with everybody.<br />
Culturally we're encouraged to not share any private information about ourselves because of the risk it involves. Risk to ourselves, and risk to others.<br />
There are very few safe places to share anymore.<br />
<br />
It's devastating.<br />
<br />
How can you break the shell of "don't ask, don't tell"?<br />
<br />
It would take the world changing. I don't believe it can be accomplished by one person alone.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-25735814741691314422016-05-21T14:45:00.000-07:002016-05-21T14:45:39.806-07:00The heavy burdenI'm willing to bet that most people find me to be an upbeat person.<br />
<br />
I love my friends openly, even if/when I don't agree with their life choices.<br />
<br />
I try to make others happy.<br />
<br />
I do "random acts of kindness" like straightening the shopping cart corral in the parking lot, wiping down the public bathroom counters/pick up trash and dispose of it properly. I smile and wave at random strangers to get them to smile.<br />
<br />
I try to put on a good face most of the time and try to leave behind any place better than I found it (boy scout mindset kind of).<br />
<br />
Despite all of these things, I am a very unhappy person.<br />
<br />
I'm very pessimistic, judgemental, bitter, and angry.<br />
<br />
I often participate in my "random acts of kindness" because I think and feel that other people just don't care.<br />
<br />
I get frustrated when I see shopping carts not properly corralled, thinking that whomever left it "there" doesn't give a crap about being nice to others or value the time/effort it takes for the store employee to wrangle it later.<br />
I feel angry that the bathroom counter/floor are soaked/covered in random bits and pieces of paper towels/toilet paper. I commonly think and believe that people leave it this way because they feel it is below them to clean it up even if they caused a part of it. I commonly think that these person's respect and care of public facilities mirrors their respect and care for other people in the world.<br />
I think and feel that everyone else passing the stranger by, and choosing to not notice them, even subconsciously, is a declaration of their love for their fellow man (or rather, their lack thereof).<br />
<br />
I'm judgemental of my children for constant disobedience even though I've been taught that what they are doing is typical boundary pushing/normal behavior for children their age. I often feel that my children don't respect my rules/authority because it is not commonly taught/expected by others to do so. This angers me, and is a constant pulse of doubt about my worth/influence as a mother.<br />
<br />
I commonly feel bitter when something I've told another person gets forgotten.<br />
I've noticed over the years that I tell people less and less things. When I do speak up, I am typically very deliberate in what I say, and how I say it. When these things are not remembered/retained and I later mention it to continue the conversation, or accomplish something beyond the subject, I am disheartened. It makes me feel/believe that what I think/say/feel/do is of little to no value to the other person. It is a very isolating emotion. It often results in me never mentioning it again as it feels pointless to do so.<br />
<br />
I feel discouraged when I see anything that I have done/cleaned/improved/worked on gets destroyed/soiled/disorganized/forgotten about. This happens even from my own doing: unfinished projects, laundry, accidentally broken items, etc.<br />
When I perceive that I am the cause of my own discouragement it makes me doubt myself, and others, even more greatly. I feel in those moments that I believe, even more so, that progression is not likely/possible and that positive change in others is a pointless pursuit.<br />
<br />
I have very little hope.<br />
<br />
My counselor suggested that I make a "hope box" full of little pieces of paper with things written on them that I am looking forward to/hopeful about that have a realistic possibility of happening/can be influenced by me. Things that I can feel joyful about.<br />
I was given that assignment over a month ago. I've only been able to come up with 3 things. Each has a possibility of being joyful. However, each comes with a realistic possibility of being stressful and unachievable.<br />
Those possibilities terrify me.<br />
It hasn't provided much hope.<br />
<br />
Despite my inner thoughts and emotions, and the general tumult and anxiety they cause me, I put on a good face to most of the world.<br />
I offer help to others. I counsel/talk to my friends as time allows me to (so long as my emotions aren't controlling my rationality or ability to be kind/uplifting toward them). I go to church. I cook. I clean. I hug my girls. I try to establish a normal/healthy pattern of living.<br />
<br />
My compromised perspective is that I fail most of the time.<br />
<br />
This is my heavy burden.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-38700496468392599442016-05-21T13:35:00.001-07:002016-05-21T13:38:26.993-07:00May 20, 2016So I had a scary evening yesterday...<br />
Jay, the girls, and I all went out to eat together. When I was almost done eating I got hit with a super strong contraction/lower abdominal cramping (felt like I needed to poop).<br />
<br />
I excused myself from the table to go use the restroom, getting quite dizzy on my first 10 steps away from the table, but regaining full stamina almost immediately. <br />
<br />
I went to the restroom and peed. I still felt the need to poop, but it didn't happen. I remember feeling sweaty all of a sudden and looked down at my insulin pump screen to see if my glucose was suddenly dropping.<br />
<br />
I then had a short dream, and came to (after losing consciousness) with my head stuck in the corner of the bathroom walls, but still seated on the toilet. <br />
<br />
I realized immediately that I had passed out. I was in a full body sweat at this point (no low blood sugar, by the way).<br />
<br />
I re-gained my bearings, washed my hands, and went out of the bathroom (both Autumn and Tori were outside the door waiting to use it, in line behind another young girl).<br />
<br />
I walked back to the table with both girls. Once I sat down I told Jay what had happened and that I needed him to take the girls to the restroom while I sat and regained my composure. <br />
<br />
Almost instantly after he and the girls left from the table I got hit with another intense contraction and laid down on the bench to help reduce the pain. <br />
<br />
The next think I knew/heard was my cute little Asian waitress saying "Are you OK? Are you OK?"<br />
<br />
I responded, and slowly sat back up. I told her I had just passed out and that my husband/kids were in the bathroom, I was 28 weeks pregnant, and needed to go to the hospital. <br />
<br />
She immediately alerted the staff, informed Jay, and had another gentleman employee (ironically named Charlie) assist her and Jay walk me out to the car. <br />
<br />
I called emergency L&D on the way to the hospital to inform them we were coming, etc. <br />
<br />
Once at the hospital I did not pass out again. They checked my cervix, did a swab for risk of pre-term labor, a CMP (complete metabolic panel), and urine analysis. <br />
<br />
I also threw up there and had diarrhea. <br />
<br />
My contractions were every 2-3 minutes upon arrival. <br />
<br />
However, after a full bag of fluids, a Zofran (anti-nausea) bolus, and resting for a little over 3 hours the contractions almost completely stopped.<br />
<br />
Charlie's heart rate/movement was/is normal. She wasn't stressing at all. <br />
<br />
They released me at about 12:45am this morning. <br />
<br />
I've been taking it very easy today, and drinking lots of water. But this virus I'm fighting, the GI (gastroenteritis) bug, and dehydration are probably the main cause of last night's scare. <br />
<br />
I will not be doing the flea market garage sale tomorrow (Idaho's Largest Garage Sale) and will do my best to keep my activities to a bare minimum to allow myself the rest my body so desperately needs to heal. <br />
<br />
I just figured I'd let you all know what's happening in my world... crazy scary stuff.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-61948424722650215852015-11-26T04:14:00.000-08:002016-04-07T05:21:27.131-07:00What I did todayToday I...<br />
<br />
(Went to a chiropractor appointment.<br />
Got my watch fixed.<br />
Bought Autumn 9 dresses at Deseret Industries.<br />
Dropped off my cousin at the airport.<br />
Cooked macaroni and cheese.<br />
Cooked pasta salad.<br />
Ate pasta salad.<br />
Made 47 peanut butter/chocolate truffles.<br />
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<br />
Made 8 "shaped" chocolates.<br />
.<br />
Washed dishes.<br />
Gel painted my neighbor's and Autumn's nails.<br />
Went grocery shopping.<br />
Prepped and started roasting a turkey.<br />
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<br />
Formatted/edited family photos and printed them out to begin tomorrow's activity of assembling the home-made gifts they will be put into.)<br />
<br />
had a busy day.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-55403546319872668712015-11-21T04:07:00.000-08:002015-11-21T04:07:23.319-08:00Once-a-year-bloggingI was looking back on my list of blog titles that I've published and realized that the last time I actually published a blog post was on the 15th of last December.<br />
<br />
Yikes.<br />
<br />
So... perhaps I should summarize this year. Here goes...<br />
<br />
January:<br />
I don't have anything saved on my calendar that I did during this month so... on to:<br />
<br />
February:<br />
I drove home to Colorado for my friend Michelle Keller's funeral. It sucked.<br />
A lot of re-surfaced memories greeted me as I arrived at the church for her funeral on the morning of. This was the same location of her little brother's funeral 9 years earlier. A lot of the same people attended also. Mixed bag of emotions. But there is no way I would have not attended. I was there for Michelle, more than anyone else.<br />
Of course I was there for her family (parents and little sister) also. But primarily I was there for Michelle. She and I shared a connection post Ryan's death that nobody else shared with her. We spent a handful of times together in college in deep conversation about life, God, etc. And these moments will forever be only mine and hers. Private conversations that I think only she and I could understand.<br />
<br />
The only other thing I remember from February was that I actually bought some Valentine's cards for my kiddos to have/use/give away, but forgot where I put them, and thus, they were not delivered to anybody. Oops.<br />
<br />
March:<br />
The 4th hit me harder this year due to Michelle's funeral. I didn't call my family to share in the Noah's Arc joke due to my depression truly isolating me from the world. I hated that day.<br />
<br />
April:<br />
Got diagnosed as being a BRCA1 gene mutation carrier.<br />
I forgot it was my oldest sister's birthday on the 16th. My other sister reminded me (thankfully) so I did get the chance to call her. But yeah... totally spaced that one. Still in depression head fog. Nothing outside of my own universe was truly noted/acknowledged by me.<br />
<br />
May:<br />
I called my little brother on his birthday and chatted for a half hour or so.<br />
Mother's day was kind of a drag (I hinted at what I wanted by reading a book about mother's day to the girls & Jay a few days in advance... but it didn't lead to anything truly).<br />
My birthday was ok. We went out to dinner at Red Lobster. But it didn't feel like a celebration.<br />
<br />
June:<br />
I forgot my anniversary because I was super distracted by having Jury duty on the first week of the month.<br />
I also baked/decorated/served a wedding cake that weekend. They ordered custom made legos to represent all their family members atop the cake (including their two dogs and cat).<br />
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<br />
With both of those priorities encompassing my brain I literally forgot.<br />
Jay got me a 1/2 spa day package and some roses. I was surprised to realize that it was, in fact, our anniversary and I had forgotten it.<br />
Ward picnic.<br />
Lydia & Naomi Hellewell's birthday party.<br />
My daddy's birthday.<br />
Jay's/McConkie family's reunion/Father's day. Lots of fun activities with this side of the family. Met a lot of new people and truly enjoyed how warm they all are as a family.<br />
Went and saw "Inside Out" in theaters. It was pretty good.<br />
Hosted a Pampered Chef party at my house. It was busy, but fun.<br />
<br />
July:<br />
Started seeing a psychiatrist for my depression/medication.<br />
Autumn's "princess" birthday party. I dressed up as Elsa from Frozen. I also made her two different birthday cakes.<br />
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<br />
We also hired a magician/balloon man for her party. It was pretty cool.<br />
I worked a shift at the Boise cannery (pears).<br />
Autumn had her annual doctor's appointment.<br />
<br />
August:<br />
Camping trip with my family in Colorado. Lots of anxiety about traveling alone with my kiddos (roughest trip yet). It ended on a positive note even though the start to it was very rough on me.<br />
Classroom visit and parent orientation at Autumn's preschool.<br />
Autumn really liked the look/feel of her school.<br />
I felt completely overwhelmed with all of the new information.<br />
It's a cooperative preschool - so there's a lot of parent involvement, so it's forced me to come out of my comfort shell quite a bit, which truly has been a big help out of my depression mode.<br />
<br />
September:<br />
My mommy's birthday.<br />
Another cannery assignment (peaches).<br />
Preschool started. (I cried like a baby when dropping Autumn off).<br />
Started EMDR psychotherapy.<br />
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing<br />
Stake international night.<br />
Preschool field trip "soccer tots."<br />
1/2 day spa package.<br />
<br />
October:<br />
Attended a Tupperware party.<br />
Preschool field trip to Linder Farms.<br />
Autumn was moved into an older class at preschool and now attends 3 days a week instead of 2.<br />
Went and saw the Pollocks in Heyburn and celebrated an early birthday for Tori there with a Minion cake.<br />
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<br />She got a Wonder Woman costume from them that she absolutely loves!<br />
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<br />
My minivan was rear-ended/totaled by a school bus.<br />
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I only have slight whiplash from the crash. Tori was in the car also - but is 100% ok.<br />
Kaylie Cleverley (my 3rd cousin, twice removed) received her endowments and I attended. :)<br />
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<br />
Preschool harvest party. On Tori's actual birthday (she keeps telling everyone that she had a birthday at preschool).<br />
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<br />
Tori's birthday party with friends. Complete with Minion cake #2. It was completely minion themed.<br />
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<br />
I had a low blood sugar that required Jay injecting me with glucagon (first time ever required in my life). It was not pretty - I bit my tongue pretty bad. From Autumn/Tori's description I must have had a seizure.<br />
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<br />
Halloween! We were cops & robbers!<br />
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<br />
And last but not least, many, many trips to the chiropractor post this car crash.<br />
<br />
November:<br />
Purchased a "new" (to us) minivan. No pictures taken of it yet, ironically.<br />
Preschool field trip to Boise Rock School.<br />
Stake pie social. My sister's recipe that I prepared for black bottom banana creme pie won in the "cream pie" category.<br />
Jay's birthday.<br />
<br />
And still more to come like....<br />
Stake conference.<br />
Oncologist appointment (because I'm a carrier for BRCA1 gene mutation I am being monitored by a breast oncologist every 6 months to ensure that if I develop cancer we catch it super quick giving me more treatment options and a better prognosis).<br />
Thanksgiving.<br />
<br />
December:<br />
Trip home to Colorado.<br />
Christmas!<br />
<br />
So yeah, that's it for me as for now.<br />
Let me know if you want any fill-ins, or details about anything mentioned above (or that you're aware I left out).Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-27362856044769152622014-12-15T06:52:00.001-08:002014-12-15T06:52:48.694-08:00It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!Wow... I haven't written on my blog since May!<br />
<br />
The Memorial Day garage sale was a huge success. I got rid of 3/4 of all our storage boxes in the garage through the sale, and by donating the rest.<br />
<br />
I now have a shelf/bench out in my garage that my cousin Jeff so graciously gave to me. It's not fancy, but it's highly functional.<br />
I also put together the girls' old diaper changing table as "craft central" for all the supplies/projects I have/do. I placed it on my rolling extendable coat rack so that I can hang things above it also (tie-dye t-shirts, other things that need to dry).<br />
Now I just have to get rid of a couple more items in the garage that didn't sell and I've put on craigslist so that I can put "craft central" over on the end of my shelf/bench allowing for room for an additional refrigerator or chest freezer.<br />
I'm also going to install a couple bike hooks so that I can hang my bike instead of having it take up floor space.<br />
With that I'll also install a couple hanging 2x4s to create a place to put the plastic kiddie pool so that it's not out in the elements and not in the way of the car.<br />
And perhaps, just to finish things off, I'll find a space out on the bench to organize my tools when I'm done with those installations so that they're no longer haphazardly placed in my linen closet.<br />
<br />
After that I just need to tackle my bedroom, bedroom closet, coat closet, and Entertainment Center.<br />
<br />
Bedroom closet:<br />
I need to organize Jay and I's clothes back into the dresser (they've migrated to sitting on top - so everything in the drawers now is pretty much never worn and can be sold/consigned/given away).<br />
Bedroom:<br />
Organize the book shelf to actually contain books (eliminating probably another box in the garage). Unpack the boxes stacked next to our TV stand (yes, there is one in our bedroom even though we never watch anything in there - ever). Organize the night stand. Store the baby items that are still haphazardly around the night stand. Examine the contents under our bed and decide how best to organize them or if any can be given away/sold/re-purposed. Get another book shelf on my side of the bed and fill it (eliminating another box or two in the garage).Decide if I want to re-position the layout of the bedroom.<br />
Coat closet:<br />
Unpack/organize/repack the boxes stored in there and move them to the garage. Design a shelving/storage system on the floor for the kids' toys to be stored away when not in use (their play room is the living room - I would like to reclaim the parts of it used to store their toys). Organize board games on top closet shelf - they're currently topped on the book shelf in the living room, but there's no more room up there and there are still several in a few boxes in the garage.<br />
Entertainment Center:<br />
Find a better shelving method for our DVDs (maybe building shelves above the DVD player and/or re-purposing the firewood storage den in our living room (currently containing DVDs, random cables, and who knows what else). Alphabetizing the DVDs and taking inventory on a spreadsheet so we know what we have. Mounting the digital antenna to the wall so that it's not resting on top of the flat-screen.<br />
<br />
However, the next few days are dedicated to Christmas prep.<br />
<br />
I need to:<br />
Bake/decorate a cake (for a client).<br />Bake/decorate cookies (for this client's colleagues).<br />
Do the weekly laundry.<br />
Complete the home-made crafts for the Christopherson family nieces/nephew.<br />
Paint and assemble my mother in-laws gift.<br />
Ship those gifts.<br />
Purchase some gifts for my mother, father and husband.<br />
Assemble the rocking horse we got for the girls.<br />
Wrap presents.<br />
Feed the missionaries on Wednesday (Bata yaki - be jealous other Hellewells).<br />
Go to the Borah High School Christmas choir concert on Thursday night.<br />
Find weighted stocking holders/hooks for our fireplace mantle.<br />
Paint mine and my neighbor's windows with some holiday motifs.<br />
Decide on what "treat" to leave in the mailbox for our mailman as a Christmas present.<br />
And... I can't think of anything else.<br /><br />Thankfully the tree is already assembled and decorated and our lights are "up." The lights I put "up" outside are simple this year (solar powered luminaries lining the driveway - the posts looking like peppermint sticks).<br />
<br />
We're staying in Idaho for Christmas this year (our first Christmas together as an immediate family since becoming parents). Jay has to work on Christmas day... but we'll figure something out to make it special - perhaps joining him for luch at work.<br />
<br />
Maybe we'll get a chance to Skype with our family members in California/Colorado/Texas on Christmas eve - and make that a new tradition.<br />
<br />
I hope your Christmas is Merry and Bright!<br />
<br />
2015 will be here in 16 days, 17 hours, 18 minutes, and 19 seconds! (it is now 12/15/2014 @ 7:42:41)Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-55165372509788197892014-05-05T03:14:00.000-07:002014-05-05T03:14:48.936-07:00It's time to clean up!I am a pack rat.<br />
<br />
Not in the extreme sense like you see on "hoarders" or similar TV shows. But I've always had a hard time letting go of things or just plain throwing things away.<br />
<br />
I remember as a kid that I purposefully memorized the pick-up schedule for the ARC donation truck so that I would "book it" home and ensure my precious "things" didn't get given away. Things like stuffed animals, clothes, toys, etc.<br />
I've always had a hard time letting things go.<br />
<br />
However... I'm not at the point in my life that I realize I have too much stuff.<br />
I have boxes that I have not opened in over 2 years (since we moved here from Salt Lake City).<br />
Ones that I truly don't know why I'm holding onto them considering I don't even use or look at their contents, ever.<br />
<br />
So... here's what I'm doing to clean up.<br />
<br />
I heard about "Idaho's Biggest Garage Sale" while listening to a radio station in April.<br />
The idea intrigued me.<br />
<br />
An outdoor flea market/garage sale.<br />
All the advertising for it already exists - you just have to buy a space and set up your stuff.<br />
Brilliant!!<br />
<br />
So now for the fun part - I'm currently de-cluttering my house, closets, and yes, my garage.<br />
<br />
I'm going through every single box. Literally.<br />
<br />
I'm categorizing the items I'm not keeping into other small boxes by price ($1, $2, $5, $10, $15, $20, etc), and even including "free items" or "name your price."<br />
On Friday, May 16th I will be going to set up my booth space (it cost $30 to reserve) with all of these things - they will be watched overnight by police/security to prevent theft; and will be there all day Saturday, the 17th, selling them off.<br />
What I can't sell there (and honestly think I can't make a buck off of) will be donated to the local DI, Idaho Youth Ranch, or Goodwill.<br />
Everything else will find itself listed on Craigslist.<br />
<br />
It's time to clean up!<br />
<br />
I'm not moving all this stuff again when we get out of this duplex.<br />
I'm not moving this stuff ever again.<br />
<br />
Find me at the garage sale!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://idahoslargestgaragesale.com/idahos-largest-garage-sale-directions/">http://idahoslargestgaragesale.com/idahos-largest-garage-sale-directions/</a>Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-5346570896684185842013-10-18T01:35:00.001-07:002013-10-18T01:35:08.262-07:00Life updatesTechnically this is partially a new year's resolution update, but there's more than that topic that I want to blog about so... here goes.<br />
<br />
I'm loosing weight.<br />
It's kind of odd - I never have needed to loose weight, but being in the "overweight" category due to my BMI I felt the need to shed some pounds. That's why weight loss was one of my resolutions this year.<br />
<br />
I'm now 155lbs.<br />
My BMI is 23.6<br /><br />I have lost 26 pounds since the beginning of this year (well, since February 22nd when I originally posted the resolution blog).<br /><br />So, that means I met my weight loss resolution. Cool!<br /><br />I would ideally like to weigh 130lbs as I've already admitted in that previous blog - so that means I have another 25 pounds to go.<br />
<br />Ironically enough, I haven't done anything really different to encourage this weight loss. It's been gradual, and I haven't even really focused on it throughout this year. I have noticed, however, that my meal portions have gone down considerably. I chalk up my weight loss to this fact alone. Eat less consistently and your stomach shrinks down a bit. You become accustomed to eating smaller meals.<br />If you want to do this too - just cut out a scoop of what you would normally put on your plate and/or replace that typical scoop with a vegetable/raw fruit instead. I've also concentrated on ensuring I'm eating whole-grain driven foods like 100% whole wheat bread, etc. Nothing drastic.<br />
<br />
<br />
So what else is going on in my world?! A lot!<br />
<br />
I volunteered some information to my High School graduating classes president about some ideas I had for our upcoming 10-year reunion this upcoming summer. After a few conversations with her she asked me if I would be the chairperson for the reunion committee. I heartily accepted!<br />
<br />
So, because of that, I've been looking up information, pitching reunion ideas, and gathering contact information (as well as trying to get into contact with) for the 443 members of my class.<br />
With that I formed a reunion committee strictly made up of volunteers from our class.<br /><br />It's been busy at times, but not too stressful yet.<br />I'm pretty sure we have a location decided upon - but I haven't booked the date yet.<br />
I think we've ironed out what we want to do for our reunion as well.<br />
I'm confident that I've found a photographer for the event.<br />
I'm also confident that this will become more stressful as it gets closer.<br />
I'm very glad I have committee members located in Littleton, Colorado where I grew up/graduated to take care of the details I need to be handled in person. It's a disadvantage to live out of state and plan these things.<br />
<br />
The next big step for the planning process is getting a class website up and running.<br />I recently received an email from a new contact regarding this next step, so I may have more help moving forward on that than I anticipated I would. Yay!<br />
<br />
<br />
Another thing I've recently been doing: baking!<br />
<br />
I baked and decorated a 5-tiered wedding cake for my neighbor's wedding on the 5th of this month that, from what I've been told, tasted amazing! (I'm really not much of a cake-eating person even though I like to make/decorated them - funny isn't it?!)<br />I was happy with how the individual layers turned out and looked on their own, but was somewhat disappointed that the bottom two layers kind of got squashed when I assembled the whole thing. It was a VERY HEAVY cake.<br />
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Lucky for me, it didn't have to be fully assembled for very long. So I got a friend of mine to get a couple of pictures of it before I took the layers back down and cut most of it up.<br />
<br />
Added to the wedding cake this month I also baked and decorated Tori's birthday cake. (I honestly can't believe my baby is a 1 year-old already)<br />I baked a 3D teddy bear for her.<br />
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As I did with Autumn's first birthday, I also made cupcakes for an easier way to eat cake and also to provide a bit longer for the finished cake to remain intact at her party.<br />
I was happy with how it all turned out.<br />
<br />
Other things that have been going on this year: Party Planning!<br />
<br />
I put together a baby shower for a friend of my cousin. Lucky for me I had help on the invitation side (because I was out of town home in Colorado), as well as the decoration/food providing side.<br />
Another friend of my cousin co-threw the baby shower with me so we split the cost on the materials.<br />
I was primarily in charge of the games - all of which were well enjoyed and a lot of fun to play!<br />
<br />
So what am I doing next? Another Baby Shower!!<br />
The couple that I made the wedding cake for are due to have a baby boy born in early February. I like this gal so much!<br />
I asked her if she was planning to have a baby shower because this is going to be her first boy (she has 2 girls). Since the answer was "no" I immediately, and happily, offered to throw her one. She was happy to accept also!<br />
<br />
<br />
On a more serious note - I should probably put a brief update on my depression.<br /><br />I'm fairly open with most people I meet about having depression. I don't randomly throw it into conversations or anything, but if we're sharing something a long those lines I am pretty forthright about admitting I have this problem.<br />
About 6 months after Tori was born I had my postpartum depression kick in really hard. I had originally braced myself for the effects of postpartum depression by making my assumptions that I would have to deal with it known to a lot of women in my church. I was completely surprised when it didn't hit when I expected it to, and so I thought I was home free. I thought wrong.<br />
However, because I had also alerted my doctor to my suspicions that I may have it's ugly symptoms before going into labor she was very easy to talk to about it when it came up.<br />
<br />
I can't praise my PCP enough about her listening quality! She doesn't pull the "I know better than you do because I'm a MD" persona that I am very un-fond of. She truly treats her patients (or me at least) like they are the experts on their own bodies. She listens to my thoughts/feelings/ideas about how to combat any medical thing I'm going through, and comes to a decision WITH me on how to treat and move forward.<br /><br />With her help I've not only increased the dosage of the antidepressant that I take, but have added a supplemental medication to my regimen that has truly ironed out my swing from feeling suicidal to being manic/controlling and going head-first into anything like I can take on the world.<br />
<br />
I truly feel like myself again. No dramatic low points, and no uncharacteristic high points either. I'm really happy with where I am at inside this head of mine.<br />
<br />
So yeah... for now, that's been the highlights of my life.<br />
I hope you enjoyed reading it all (if you did).<br />
Feel free to comment if you'd like!<br />
<br />
Until next time...Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-7644326097447782032013-08-21T03:17:00.002-07:002013-08-21T03:17:26.573-07:00New year resolution re-capI went to a doctor's appointment on Monday for a variety of things (mainly depression related - follow up on medications, etc). At the end of the appointment my doctor informed me what my current BMI was. I honestly hadn't even thought about my BMI since writing my initial 2013 resolutions post in February.<br />
<br />
I know I've been loosing weight, and I also know that I am a lot happier with how my jeans have been fitting lately. It wasn't until Monday night that I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror to determine how I currently feel about my body image.<br />
Honestly, I'm quite happy with where I'm at, and where I'm still headed. I like my figure currently.<br />
<br />
My current BMI is 25.5<br />
Just .6 above the max for a normal weight category.<br />
I currently weigh 168 lbs.<br />
That's down 13 pounds in almost 6 months.<br />
Not a drastic drop, no, but a healthy one.<br />
I'm just 7 pounds shy of my goal for the year. I'm fairly confident that I'll be able to make it.<br />Here's hoping that I'm at or below 161 lbs by the end of the year.<br />
<br />
As far as the other two goals ($1000 into savings and have a regular schedule)?<br />
<br />
The monetary one has been completed and surpassed (a little bit at least), but the schedule still isn't there.<br />
<br />
My fight with depression this year has been a tough one for me. I've adjusted the medication that I'm on with my doctor twice now, as well as added a medication into my regimen to augment the antidepressant.<br />
I'm actually finally feeling like I'm leveling out.<br />
<br />
I spent the last two weeks on vacation with my close friends, and family, and that seemed to lift my mood.<br />
Aside from lifting my mood a bit, I noticed that while on vacation I didn't really stress about the things I normally do when I travel. I didn't fixate on having everything go the way I wanted it to (as often as I usually do), and in general I just went with the flow of things.<br />
<br />
Fairly recently I decided to get involved with throwing a baby shower for a friend of my cousins, as well as heading up the committee for my upcoming 10-year high school reunion.<br />
<br />
I'm actually looking forward to the future, not dreading it!<br />
I'm not existing in a world of just day-to-day, I'm actually actively taking a part in planning things (something I wholeheartedly avoid when I am depressed).<br />
<br />
I went and visited my three guy friends at two different cemeteries while home in Colorado. I spoke out loud to all of them at their different resting places. I had never truly done that before. It provided me some closure I hadn't truly experienced with any of them before. I spoke to them about our friends, and what I was doing in my life currently. I made specific promises to each of them that I will keep. It was a good day.<br />
<br />
I can honestly say that right now I am happy.<br />
<br />
I don't believe I've been able to use that word to describe myself for over 3 years now.<br />
<br />
It's refreshing to be able to say it again.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-72102164756486351212013-04-27T04:36:00.000-07:002013-04-27T04:36:22.102-07:00Home again, home again, jigity-jig!I told my husband that I really wanted to take a family vacation this year about a month or so ago.<br />
<br />
I got a text message from my oldest sister that her 2nd kiddo is getting baptized on May 4th. (Good reason to go home, no?)<br />
<br />
Autumn is getting to the point where she's growing out of her 18 month sized clothes and I need to update her wardrobe (we have about 8 items that are 24 month sized).<br />
<br />
So...<br />
<br />
I texted my oldest sister and asked if her youngest daughter had grown out of the 24 month and 2T sized clothes that she had.<br />
She confirmed that she has and asked if I needed them for Autumn.<br />
I heartily confirmed.<br />
<br />
And now...<br />
<br />
We're all taking a trip home to Colorado!<br />
Wa-hoo!<br />
<br />
We'll be driving on May 1st, and back again on either May 6th or 7th.<br />
We're going to drive the entire way there in one trip, and depending on how that goes will decide if we want to do a 2-day trip coming back, or just drive it straight back as well.<br />
<br />
We are all going to stay at my in-law's house, and we'll be going to Cassidy's baptism on the 4th... but beyond that we don't have anything planned!<br />
<br />
Let me know if you want to see me/us!<br />
<br />
Of course, the one person that I will be trying to set aside specific time for is Autumn's God Mother, Allison.<br />
<br />
I'm super excited to be taking a trip home! :)<br />
<br />
Family time in the non-winter months is always so much more fun for me!<br />
(Now lets just hope it doesn't snow while we're there... unpredictable Colorado weather...)Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-49247166960747503572013-04-13T15:50:00.000-07:002013-04-13T15:50:13.397-07:00An anonymous trollI I have someone reading my blog and commenting anonymously.<br />
<br />
I can track what they've been viewing (I have my ways) and when. And, of course, their comments are moderated by me before being published (I'll continue to delete the comments that are unfit to be read by my friends and family).<br />
<br />
I'm just irked that someone would even waste their time commenting in a troll like manner.<br />
<br />
C'est la vie I guess.<br />
<br />
It's not even worth my time to hunt down the culprit. (Although I'm more than convinced that I could. Again, I have my ways.)<br />
<br />
Don't even bother with the chaff when all that matters is the wheat.<br />
<br />
You're forgiven. I hope the hole you have inside yourself that you feel needs to be filed with making others miserable can be sewn shut and healed.<br />
I honestly feel sorry for you.<br />
*hug*Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-23810331532679276142013-04-07T00:02:00.001-07:002013-04-07T00:02:03.146-07:00Cleaning scheduleI follow a few blogs (of friends and a couple others that I have found through friends).<br />
<br />
It always seems that when my mind has an idea of something to do self-improvement wise my friend Heather over at "Want What You Have" seems to blog about that very topic at the same time.<br />
<br />
Recently I've been trying to set a routine house cleaning/organizing schedule to help keep my little duplex orderly and to make things MUCH EASIER when we do decide to move away.<br />
Staying on top of things and having a clean house really lightens my mood and relieves a lot of my depression symptoms.<br />
<br />
Because I still haven't figured out what kind of system is going to work for me, but have been inspired by Heather's schedule, I am going to share it with you.<br />
<br />
http://wantingwhatyouhave.com/2013/04/my-index-car-file-cleaning-schedule-system.html<br />
<br />
This woman shares so many great ideas! I am so lucky to have found her blog a couple of years ago!Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-88480607130301555502013-03-01T03:49:00.001-08:002013-03-01T03:49:12.118-08:00Loosing weightI lost 9 pounds this week!<br /><br />Just that sentence alone makes me want to laugh.<br />
<br />
I did though, truly loose 9 pounds. Unfortunately it was all contained within my GI tract.<br />
I lost those 9 pounds out both ends at a rapid pace.<br />
<br />
Yep. You read that correctly.<br />
<br />
Over the past two days I've been trying to convince my stomach to not cringe or spasm at the idea of solid food while trying to maintain healthy blood sugar levels to help me fight off whatever has invaded my system.<br />
<br />
What are your personal "go-to" foods for when your tummy isn't behaving?<br />I need as many ideas as I can get that are both milk and soy free.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-50197656453960510452013-02-22T02:12:00.001-08:002013-02-22T02:12:45.276-08:002013 resolutionsI waited all of January (and most of February now) to post my resolutions this year because I wanted to have a test-run and make sure I was setting attainable goals for myself.<br />
<br />
I had several ideas this year for things that I wanted to resolve to do, and have narrowed the list to 3 things.<br />
<br />
So... I have a much higher probability of failure this year considering each resolutions accounts for approximately 33.33% percent of my goals.<br />
I think I deliberately made less resolutions this year to help me truly focus and work at attaining these goals.<br />
I wanted to ensure they were in my "TOMA." (Top Of Mind Awareness) Or, in other words, always on my mind.<br />
<br />
Here they be:<br />
<br />
<b>1. Loose 20 pounds.</b><br />
I've never set a goal to loose an actual number of pounds of weight before. This resolution somewhat scares me actually. I don't like to exercise in the traditional sense. And, in general, I have a very hard time motivating myself to have any sort of healthy habit.<br />
However, my BMI is 27.5, putting me in the overweight category. Loosing 20 pounds would put me at a BMI of 24.5 (24.9 is the max BMI for the normal weight category).<br />
I currently weigh 181 pounds.<br />
I would ideally like to weigh 130 pounds (BMI of 19.8).<br />
That's a 51 pound difference.<br />
I didn't want to set 51 pounds as my goal because I've never lost weight before in the traditional sense. I've only ever lost weight after having a baby (for obvious reasons).<br />
I figured 20 pounds was not only attainable, but it also gave me room to overachieve if I truly get the hang of this weight loss thing.<br />
Cross your fingers for me! My 10 year high school reunion is May 2014 - this gives me more than a year to be a healthy weight by then.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Put at least $1000 into savings</b><br />
$1000 truly isn't a lot. But over the past two years Jay and I have not made a single contribution toward our savings account. Quite the opposite in fact. We went from having more than $7000 to just a little over $300.<br />
Unemployment, moving, and hospital bills take a lot out of you.<br />
However, we are not "in debt" in the traditional sense.<br />
The only loan(s) we have out is on our minivan (and some float money my daddy lent us to be able to cover some medical expenses that couldn't be covered through a payment plan).<br />
We pay our credit card in full every statement.<br />
We pay our bills on time.<br />
But if Jay lost his job.... we'd last less than a month.<br />
My focus this year is to truly cut our spending in half (I have a bad habit of shopping and spending money I don't need to when I'm feeling stressed) and start re-building our savings account.<br />
If we ever truly plan on purchasing a home of our own - we need to have money for a down payment.<br />
I want to have that down payment available in savings, and a separate savings account besides that. At least a 3 month emergency fund if the worst should happen and Jay did loose his job.<br />
That's a lot of money we need to save.<br />
Again, $1000 is not much, but it's attainable. Much like my weight loss goal, it leaves room to overachieve.<br />
<br />
<b>3. Create and keep a schedule</b><br />
Obscure isn't it? But really when I think about it, the hardest transition for me when I became a stay at home mom was no longer having a schedule. I swear, the only days I feel like I accomplish anything is when I have a doctor's appointment to take myself or one of the kids to (you know, a schedule to keep).<br />
Ironically enough, one of the blogs I follow just touched on this very topic earlier this month here: http://wantingwhatyouhave.com/2013/02/a-daily-schedule-for-stay-at-home-moms-revisited.html<br />I have a lot of respect for this blogger and am constantly uplifted by her way of practicing what she preaches. She's not an "idealist" blogger. She's a factual one.<br />
I've had a very hard time feeling like a good mom to my girls because I don't have a personal schedule. I don't get up at the same time every day (or week for that matter) and I just kind of go with the flow.<br />
Well, when you have young children that flow can be very disastrous to your mental, physical, and even spiritual health.<br />
I realize that I need to change this pattern and take charge by setting a schedule for myself. I need to be proactive, not reactive.<br />
I think this will have many positive outcomes for me in the future if I really dig deep and stick to it.<br />
My biggest challenge will be setting one in motion and not succumbing to my natural tendencies of "doing nothing." The "nothing" monster is the biggest mental tormentor of mine. It seems like even when I do have a full blown day of cleaning, etc, he's there to remind me that I was lazy for the past however many days and what I did accomplish today doesn't make up for any of that. Basically he destroys my self esteem.<br />
Time to put an end to him.<br />
<br />
So that's it. My three resolutions for 2013. Wish me luck. I'll do a few follow-ups with these goals throughout the year as I did this past one.<br />
I put them on my blog for the world to see, and for my readers to hold me accountable.<br />
(Having others know my goals truly is one of the best ways for me to stay motivated to keep them)Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-9956134615688913852013-01-05T23:34:00.002-08:002013-01-05T23:34:38.645-08:00The 2012 New Year Resolutions re-cap<br />
Lets go over what my resolutions for the year 2012 were and see if I kept any of them...<br />
<br />
1. Be caffeine free. No more caffeinated sodas. Zip. None. Nada.<br />
<br />
Result: I broke down in March and had a caffeinated diet coke from a drive-in. And, I'm sad to say that I didn't go back to caffeine free exclusively for the rest of the year. :(<br />
<br />
2. Pay off all the hospital bills from last year and money I owe my daddy.<br />
<br />
Result: Done! :)<br />
However, We borrowed some money from my daddy again toward the end of the year, so now I have to pay him back again... and we now have new hospital bills to pay from Tori's delivery and NICU stay..<br />
<br />
3. Loose some weight. Even one pound.<br />
<br />
Result: I gained a lot of weight being pregnant, but then lost a lot after having a baby. I'm at the same weight I was prior to getting pregnant with Tori, and I'm ok with that.<br />
<br />
4. Find a house to rent or purchase.<br />
<br />
Result: We started renting a duplex in May. It's a two bedroom single level place, but has an attached garage! We finally live in a house! Yay!<br />
<br />
5. Make friends here in Boise.<br />
<br />
Result: Made a friend by the name of Crystal Edwards this year. She is in my ward. She came over yesterday evening to hang out and play games with just me and the girls while I baked cookies. :)<br />
<br />
6. Buy a second car.<br />
<br />
Result: Bought a 2011 Kia Sedona mini van. I drive a MAV (Mormon Assault Vehicle) and I love it! :)<br />
<br />
7. Re-create our nest egg.<br />
<br />
Result: Didn't happen. We'll see how we do on saving this year...<br />
<br />
8. Stay in better contact with my immediate family.<br />
<br />
Result: Well... I think I did better this past year than the first 4 after I got married. I think the sibling I talk to the least often is still Ben. In order of whom I talk to the least to the most often would be: Ben, Dad, Stephanie, Melissa, Spencer, Mom. Yep. Mom wins as most stayed in touch with.<br />
<br />
9. Take a trip or two.<br />
<br />
Results: I drove myself and Autumn to Utah to get my taxes prepared there by my trusted CPA. I spent about 4 days there doing so.<br />
Jay and I also went to my Grandpa's 94th birthday party in Heyburn. We spent a couple of days there at a local hotel.<br />
Also, I traveled home with Autumn and my parents in July and flew back in early August.<br />
Drove to Denver again with Autumn in September to see Spencer before he deployed.<br />
And last but not least, flew home with the whole family for a 10-day Christmas holiday.<br />Good travel year.<br />
Maybe this next year we'll try to get out to Florida and/or California.<br />
<br />
10. Move my dogs to Idaho.<br />
<br />
Result: We put down Tinkerbell this year. :( So now it's just Daisy living at home with my parents. The non-refundable pet deposit for where we live right now is just too expensive to have her move here yet. But I will move her here as soon as I'm able.<br />
<br />
So... percentage wise I was 70% successful in keeping my resolutions in 2012.<br />
I wasn't able to keep 3 of my 10 resolutions due to finances (nest egg & dogs) and lack of willpower (caffeine).<br />
<br />
Time to set some realistic resolutions for 2013.<br />
Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-27646277041502943572012-09-26T15:31:00.000-07:002012-09-26T15:39:04.610-07:00Always on the SidelinesI've finally discovered the theme of my life: Always on the sidelines.<br />
<br />
I decided to go out on a limb and host a jewelry party here in Boise.<br />
The party is set for tomorrow evening.<br />
However, regardless of the 12 invites I sent out via e-mail (as well as the multiple requests for RSVPs to those 12), and about 15 hand-written invitations I handed out in person - there has been only one voluntary response. That one being a no.<br />
<br />
I decided to text those whose numbers I had to see if they were planning to attend, but every response I've received (6 total now), has also been a no.<br />
I don't know why this surprises me.<br />
<br />
I guess I was just hopeful that after moving to Boise I would find a "new home" and a "group of friends" added to it. Sadly, I've been brutally disappointed.<br />
<br />
I was convinced that I had made one solid friend here in Boise, but was told that she and I had "a falling out" by another individual long after a small misunderstanding between she and I, I thought, had been mended.
Confirmation of this falling out has come in many "convenient" ways she has turned down any invitation (or ask for help) from me, where she was not on the receiving end, since.<br />
<br />
I just wish I had a real friend here.<br />
You know, a "go-to" gal.<br />
A "ya-ya."<br />
Someone that was equally invested in a friendship with me as I was in a friendship with them.<br />
<br />
I was recently crying to my husband about this very topic as my mind went over the friends I have had in my life that meet these qualifications.<br />
<br />
Only two do.<br />
Both are in Colorado.<br />
And I sincerely hope that both know how much they mean to me (and have saved my life and my sanity over the years).<br />
I don't know if I could have ever gone beyond high school without these two beautiful women.<br />
Allison & Lindsay - you are my two.<br />
<br />
However, it seems that for the majority of my life the theme has been for me to 'always be on the sidelines.' Always "looking in." Always wanting to be included, but almost always being deliberately left out.<br />
<br />
One of the hardest realizations of this for me in my life was during 3rd grade.
I was friendless in my class (Lindsay was in a different one at the time), and desperate to have someone to be a friend to me.<br />
<br />
I came home multiple afternoons and sobbed to my mother about the lack of friends I truly had.<br />
My dear, sweet mother came up with the idea of baking cookies for my entire class and leaving them on their desks as a way of opening that door.<br />
We baked enough for 3 each.<br />
I carefully placed them on each and every one of my classmates desks during recess.<br />
<br />
I waited for someone to acknowledge my gift and say thank you...<br />
I watched as they all came in from recess and grinned at their good fortune...<br />
Only one classmate even asked where the cookies came from.<br />
My teacher (who was aware of the entire situation) proudly and warmly informed him who the baker was.<br />
<br />
I'll never forget that.<br />
<br />
He threw the cookies away (as did almost half of my classmates immediately after him). There was no acknowledgement toward me whatsoever from any one of them. No thank you. No door of friendship was opened. I was heartbroken.<br />
<br />
I feel the same way today.<br />
<br />
I just wish I had my "ya-yas" here.<br />
I wish I had someone to rely on outside of my family.<br />
<br />
I wish the theme of my life would somehow change from always being on the sidelines, to finally being included in the game. Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-77941508720753196212012-08-31T11:36:00.002-07:002012-08-31T11:54:11.588-07:00The Nesting PhaseI find the beginning of my "nesting phases" to be quite entertaining.<br /><br />First off, I don't do anything - I "sub-consciously plan" everything.<br /><br />The sub-consciously planning phase:<br /><br />This takes up every wavelength of brain power I am not using in my every day life. So I daydream, I actually dream, and I almost hallucinate how things are going to look, smell, be, etc.<br /><br />Without even actively thinking about it I plan how the kiddo's room is going to look, what outfit I'm going to take the new kiddo home in, what I'll have in my hospital bag, what my fully stocked refrigerator will contain (all prepped ahead of time of course) once I get home from the hospital, etc.<br /><br />Once this initial phase is complete (meaning my sub-conscious brain has gone through all details enough times to have those things immediately come to mind if/and when I do start planning, the next phase begins.<br /><br />The overhaul phase:<br /><br />One morning I will wake up and immediately have to get everything that I possibly can get done, in the shortest amount of time, completed.<br /><br />This time it started with car shopping. No, I have not purchased a car yet - I thankfully have my husband as a fail safe when it comes to making big purchases. We do know what we want now though, and are a lot closer to getting it.<br /><br />Today the shift went to the baby's room.<br />I rearranged the entire thing myself and was about to put the crib linens on when my "do everything that I possibly can get done, in the shortest amount of time" mode took over and I decided to wash all the linens and other laundry in the house before finishing.<br /><br />So right now I am sitting at my computer listening for when the dryer will ding with another load of laundry for me to fold. I'm also waiting for Autumn to wake up from her nap because the laundry just isn't finished until it's all folded, put away, and the floors have been vacuumed and swept/mopped. But, of course, you can't vacuum with a baby sleeping.<br />So what does my brain have me do? Jump online and research the heck out of cars via KBB.com<br /><br />I also noticed that my sub-conscious is dabbling with the contents of my refrigerator once again (a fact that I am trying to ignore because if I give it conscious thought I will have to immediately pull everything out of the fridge, clean it, and start making various meals, putting them in containers, and labeling them). My fridge is organized right now too... it's just that initial nesting phase trying to take over.<br /><br />I know the next things that'll happen over the next few days will be me having a bag packed for the hospital (which I will constantly swap things in and out of as I use them), set up the bassinet next to my bed, organize all the kid clothing in the baby's room, and come up with a written meal plan/shopping list for my fridge overhaul.<br /><br />The sad fact is that I know my brain will not shut off even if/when everything is done.<br /><br />That darn nesting phase...Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-41180609502885157152012-05-08T02:14:00.003-07:002012-05-08T02:35:50.725-07:00New Year Resolutions follow upSo I figured I'd touch base and see where I was with my resolutions so far this year... I'll post all of them as a re-cap followed by a follow up.<br /><br />1. Be caffeine free. No more caffeinated sodas. Zip. None. Nada.<br />(so far so good)<br /><br />Follow up: I broke down in March and had a caffeinated diet coke from a drive-in. And, I'm sad to say that I haven't been able to go back to caffeine free ever since. I guess I'll have to try this one again at some point, but as for this year, it's a bust.<br /><br />2. Pay off all the hospital bills from last year and money I owe my daddy.<br />(half complete)<br /><br />Follow up: Done! :)<br />Now we just have new Dr's bills and money to save for our upcoming November hospital bills... the cycle never ends.<br /><br />3. Loose some weight. Even one pound.<br />(not really a big deal to me - but I am trying to be more active and take walks with Autumn in the stroller during the week)<br /><br />Follow up: I am more active but, as I've put in this blog previously, I'm pregnant. The weight loss will have to be postponed as for right now I am expected to gain, not loose some poundage.<br /><br />4. Find a house to rent or purchase.<br />(I've been looking at local places on my walks that I can get to on foot)<br /><br />Follow up: Looking at a place later today for sale (it got listed yesterday). Jay and I also are seriously looking for a place to rent as our lease ends on the 25th. We have a go-to for in between if we can't get into a place to rent right away, but it's a last resort. I just hope we find something, and fast, as we would like to be decided on a place to submit an application to by this weekend.<br /><br />5. Make friends here in Boise.<br />(Amy Taylor is friend #1, Nickelle Weeks is friend #2 - so far so good)<br /><br />Follow up: New friend by the name of Katelyn Roos. She and her husband Kevin live just down the street from us and we now have weekly FHE's at their house alternating who prepares the lesson, and who makes a treat. I've also met and made friends with my next door neighbors Janessa and Marshall (although I don't know their last name). She is also expecting and has the same due date as me.<br /><br />6. Buy a second car.<br />(I'm assuming this will happen later in the year)<br /><br />Follow up: Haven't even looked. This really may not happen this year, but probably should considering we'll have 2 car seats to lug around when we go anywhere with both the babies.<br /><br />7. Re-create our nest egg.<br />(Looking forward to filing our taxes so that I can put the whole return into savings)<br /><br />Follow up: Used some of the return to finish paying off bills. Put the rest in savings. We're planning on really saving for the next 6 months or more to really make up a down payment and closing costs (any that we end up having to pay) to buy a house with.<br /><br />8. Stay in better contact with my immediate family.<br />(Sent them all Valentines)<br />Follow up: I think I'm doing ok for the most part. I think the two siblings I'm doing the worst with is Melissa and Ben (although I did mail Ben a Kermit the frog stuffed animal as a belated birthday gift... it got there in March).<br /><br />9. Take a trip or two.<br />(Two family reunions planned this year - Christopherson & McConkie)<br /><br />Follow up: I drove myself and Autumn to Utah to get my taxes prepared there by my trusted CPA. I spent about 4 days there doing so.<br />Jay and I also went to my Grandpa's 94th birthday party in Heyburn. We spent a couple of days there at a local hotel.<br />Also, I'm pretty sure I'm going to ask my in-laws if I can travel back to Colorado with them to spend some time at home with my parents (Autumn in tow of course) and then fly back to Boise. I'll probably talk to them about this potential plan tomorrow considering they'll be arriving here on the 12th. That's 4 days away - yikes!<br /><br />10. Move my dogs to Idaho.<br />(This will have to happen once we are renting and/or own a house)<br /><br />Follow up: Since we don't have a house yet this isn't quite a possibility yet. However, I was talking to my mom about the potential for doing so. She, as well as my sister Melissa, thinks that the move would be too hard/traumatic on my oldest dog Tinkerbell. She is both deaf and pretty much blind (cataracts in both eyes) and would probably have a very hard time adjusting to a new home. My mom even said that she's considering putting her down when we're ready to move them here (because she thinks being separated from Daisy would be equally hard on her as moving). I'm not sure how I feel about that potential. Even thinking about it makes me tear up. I really really love my dogs. They're still puppies in my eyes. We'll have to follow up when the reality of moving them (or just Daisy) here gets closer.<br /><br />So... that looks like 5 out of 10 are successful so far. The first one is a complete failure, and there are 4 to be determined still.<br /><br />I'll post another follow up later in the year.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-27059786765454305562012-04-09T17:11:00.001-07:002012-04-09T17:12:31.528-07:00OneWe had a doctor's appointment today with an ultrasound.<br />I'm happy to announce that we're having only ONE baby!<br />Not multiples!<br />:)<br />This has calmed my anxiety considerably.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-25647337607850664732012-03-17T00:49:00.002-07:002012-03-17T00:51:47.485-07:00The Stork is on his way!I'm pregnant!!!<br /><br />We weren't preventing by any means... but considering it took us 1.5 years to be able to conceive little Autumn I was quite surprised to see a "positive" result on the test I took Sunday morning.<br /><br />Both Jay and I are super excited!<br /><br />When we were talking about it we kinda made a decision... we're going to keep the baby's gender a secret 'till he/she's born! We're not even going to find out!<br /><br />This has completely increased the anticipation for me!<br />We'll see if I don't change my mind about this decision some time within the next 35 weeks or so.<br /><br />So yeah! That's life for right now!Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-90383674808952569662012-02-25T13:06:00.001-08:002012-02-25T13:23:24.283-08:00The AftermathThis is a follow-up to my post "Crimes of Domestic Violence."<br /><br />The police were here for several hours.<br />Both the husband and the wife were booked into jail. Their two children were taken by child protective services. Their dog was taken by animal control.<br /><br />Why such a dramatic outcome? One word: Drugs.<br /><br />I was shocked to hear from one of the police deputies that they found drugs in the house. Not just some - a lot. From what I saw hauled out by the decontamination unit there were 3 different marijuana plants as well as several bags of weed, and many growing implements. They filled an entire back of a pickup truck with what they hauled out.<br /><br />It was quite a scene.<br /><br />Our apartment manager got all of us residents that were home within our little street circle together about 10 minutes after they left.<br />He informed us all of what had happened (without going into details) and encouraged us to call the police if/when we saw or heard anything suspicious. He commended me, while leaving me anonymous, for doing the right thing and calling police. He said that with where the office is located compared to where our circle is it is hard for him to hear what happens. He also expressed how he is most concerned for the children that live in our little area, as there are many.<br /><br />James (the manager) informed us all that when it comes to any physical violence that takes place on the property there is a "3 strikes, you're out" rule. He also said that there is a zero tolerance for drugs. <br /><br />So... I know that these neighbors are being evicted.<br /><br />In talking with all of my neighbors that attended our little meeting I discovered more information about the domestic violence that had been taking place next door.<br /><br />I was heartbroken to find out that their neighbors on the other side had heard the husband throw the woman down the stairs previously. They also could smell the marijuana through the vents in the ceiling. I was in shock that they had not contacted police themselves. What were they waiting for?!<br /><br />I am carrying a prayer in my heart today for those two little children. They are both so young. I think their daughter is maybe 2, and their son only a matter of months old. I hope with all my heart that their mother is able to go through the necessary steps to get them back, and be a good mother to them.<br /><br />Today was a sad day.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-59911032316158601562012-02-25T09:15:00.003-08:002012-02-25T09:30:35.628-08:00Crimes of Domestic ViolenceI woke up this morning, not to Autumn crying... but to hearing my neighbors shouting and multiple sounds of crashes/bangs through the wall that separates my bedroom from theirs. Immediately my heart stopped. All I could think of was Toni Clark - one of my High School friends who was murdered in a "Crime of Domestic Violence."<br /><br />I don't know my neighbors very well.<br />I do know that they have two children.<br /><br />I did the only thing I could think of - I called the police.<br /><br />After assuring me that officers were on their way and disconnecting the call I realized that one of my neighbors left in a truck - it was the husband.<br /><br />I called police back and informed them.<br /><br />I could not hear anything next door now - and now I was even more scared.<br /><br />Was she ok?! Were the babies injured?! When was 'he' going to return?!<br /><br />I called the apartment manager and told him what had happened, and what I had done.<br />He thanked me - he also said he would go and knock on her door to see if she was ok.<br /><br />Thank God she was, and answered his knock (I heard). I was so afraid that she wouldn't/couldn't.<br /><br />The apartment manager called me back and told me she was ok and that he did not see any bruising, etc, on her when he was there.<br /><br />The police came and spent quite a bit of time inside her apartment with her. They parked in my neighbors parking spot, and had another officer show up with an orange box to collect samples... Things were not as bad as I imagined, but this was not a good sign.<br /><br />My mind thought on the video I had seen that my friend Toni's parents had made this past year. I want all of my friends to watch this and share it - it could save a life. Because of its influence I may have saved my neighbors.<br /><br />This is the link to the video:<br /><br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI2ZEaEB_XA&feature=share<br /><br />The police are still here. I don't know what the outcome of everything is, but I hope it is more positive than it may have ended up. I know it is more positive than it may have ended up.<br /><br />I will never forget Toni, nor her story.<br />I hope others find the courage to prevent these things from happening to their friends, neighbors and loved ones.<br /><br />It just may save a life.Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-25171741904638178812012-02-17T22:23:00.000-08:002012-02-17T22:42:36.013-08:00New Year ResolutionsSo... I don't blog much, as is evident by how often I actually write one.<br /><br />Here's the latest in my life and my 2012 New Year Resolutions.<br /><br />Today: <br />Autumn's first tooth has appeared! She hasn't figured out crawling just yet, but she will get up on her hands and knees and rock.<br /><br />Jay is really liking his job at Micron - which he started in November of last year. He is a process engineer in the photolathography lab. He was given two free movie passes today at work for doing such a good job over the past week. Date night here we come!<br /><br />I have days that I find myself kicking my butt into gear and getting a lot of things done. Namely today - I did the dishes, took out the trash, organized the fridge, cleaned the baby room, etc. Then there are other days that I don't do a darn thing. Being a stay at home mom is great. :) I rewarded myself tonight by going out to a game night with some relief society sisters. It was really fun.<br /><br />Yesterday:<br />Autumn does not like the sound of the vacuum, or any high-pitched sound for that matter. We have an electric pump to inflate her baby tub, but every time I turn it on she bawls. Getting ready to take a bath should not be this dramatic.<br /><br />I was called to be the Night Relief Society Chairperson in my ward. So I get to plan a once/month night meeting (aka enrichment) for my ward's relief society with a committee. Our first one was on Valentines Day - and no, I did not pick the date for this one. It was fun anyway.<br /><br />Tomorrow:<br />Autumn is going to get a bath - she's overdue.<br /><br />Jay has to work Saturday's now, so I'll be alone with the baby and chores all day.<br /><br />I need to cook enough rice for 10 people for the "Friends of Scouting" dinner and auction at my church. I also will be providing shredded carrots for said event. I hope I have another day where I feel motivated to do things because I need to do this and get Autumn and myself over to the church building by 5:30pm - and because we only have one car, I will be walking.<br /><br />So... for the New Year Resolutions I decided on for myself, they are as follows:<br />1. Be caffeine free. No more caffeinated sodas. Zip. None. Nada.<br />(so far so good)<br /><br />2. Pay off all the hospital bills from last year and money I owe my daddy.<br />(half complete)<br /><br />3. Loose some weight. Even one pound.<br />(not really a big deal to me - but I am trying to be more active and take walks with Autumn in the stroller during the week)<br /><br />4. Find a house to rent or purchase.<br />(I've been looking at local places on my walks that I can get to on foot)<br /><br />5. Make friends here in Boise.<br />(Amy Taylor is friend #1, Nickelle Weeks is friend #2 - so far so good)<br /><br />6. Buy a second car.<br />(I'm assuming this will happen later in the year)<br /><br />7. Re-create our nest egg.<br />(Looking forward to filing our taxes so that I can put the whole return into savings)<br /><br />8. Stay in better contact with my immediate family.<br />(Sent them all Valentines)<br /><br />9. Take a trip or two.<br />(Two family reunions planned this year - Christopherson & McConkie)<br /><br />10. Move my dogs to Idaho.<br />(This will have to happen once we are renting and/or own a house)<br /><br />We'll see how I do... wish me luck!Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8199198450690590134.post-18531871971692458712011-11-11T02:53:00.000-08:002011-11-11T03:00:08.023-08:00My gigglerWhat's new in the Christopherson world?!<br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyLItp36OS6lG3Qjr52Jc77H_prdD5QIWfSh8cuIhwcoshXyzZoGdYWkJxaJWUpiNQPqAPRZknTXf9ZYHXDWA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />Autumn giggles!Krystinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06340354609092741355noreply@blogger.com1