Oh there are so many things I dislike about myself... but what do I truly hate?
I hate having my disease. There, I said it.
Almost everyone I know knows that I have diabetes. However, whenever I get on the topic I automatically stand up on my soap box and tell whomever is around how this disease really isn't a big deal. I tell about how simple it is to manage, and how those that use it as an excuse are my biggest pet peeve.
Really though - I hate having this disease.
I hate how much energy I spend on "taking care of it" and "managing my blood sugars" etc.
I hate how much money this disease takes out of my pocket every day.
Put it this way: without medical insurance the test strips alone to test my blood sugar cost a little more than $1 each. I test my blood sugar 4-7 times a day. Yeah... that's just the start.
I also spend about $12 every 3 days on just the plastic supplies to deliver my insulin into my body. This is not including the cost of the wipes (alcohol, etc.) to sterilize my skin and everything else. This also does not include the price of the actual insulin itself.
Blah... I really do hate having this disease.
I also hate how having this disease dramatically increases the risk for several other medical problems. Scroll the list:
Hypo/Hyperthyroidism
Kidney Failure
Blindness
High Blood Pressure
Weight gain
Neuropathy
Amputations (feet, hands, limbs, etc)
Various organ transplants
Really... the list is truly endless
I also hate how having this disease dramatically increases the risk of my children developing it.
I also hate the fact that I really have to keep medical insurance at all costs (because it's cheaper to have the insurance than to pay for everything associated with having it out of my own pocket).
I hate how much medical procedures cost just to up-keep good diabetic health.
I hate how my immune system is constantly compromised and how much longer it takes my body to heal from scrapes, bruises, cuts, and even minor illnesses like colds.
Really... count your blessings for not having my disease.
It is one thing I truly hate about myself, and there's not much chance of finding a cure for my type of diabetes (type 1) in the near future. Science just isn't moving fast enough - and finding a cure for it post onset is limited to finding a way to block your immune system for continuing to attack your healthy body functions (production of insulin) in the future (including if you had a pancreas transplant).
So yeah... that pretty much sums it up.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The Truth
A friend of mine had this on her blog so I decided I would give it a whirl too. It's called 30 days of truth.
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself.
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days.
Day 14: A hero that has let you down.
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself.
Blowing chunks
The title truly says it all.
This is the 3rd time I've truly thrown up real food since becoming pregnant.
Yes, you read that right.
I'm pregnant. About 7-8 weeks a long as of Wednesday. I give a range because I still haven't had my first sonogram, but my Doctor did confirm my pregnancy with a blood test (on a Wednesday) and told me I was 3-4 weeks a long when she gave me the results. So yeah, until an OB gives me an official week number and due date, it's between weeks and end of July - Beginning of August for the due date.
So... I've joined the world-wide group of expecting mothers that have that lovely thing commonly called "morning sickness."
This is a curse.
Basically, I didn't have any morning sickness whatsoever when I was pregnant with Kayley. So, this is all new to me. So far I've managed to gag myself on my toothbrush every morning since I was 4-5 weeks a long, some times throwing up stomach juices (I intentionally brush my teeth before I eat).
But, as for real food loss - only 3 meals.
Let me say this much - being able to manage my blood sugars accurately with this pregnancy has been horrible. When I throw up - I go super low considering I've already taken insulin for the food I ate. And if I correct my blood sugar with juice or a capri sun... well... lets just say that juice in general is not sitting well on my tummy. Basically comes right back up within a half hour.
So yeah... I'm sitting in front of my computer at 4:56am with my pink "hospital bucket" (the cute rectangular one I got from the last time I was in a maternity ward - but never had to use) in case I don't stop heaving for the next little while, whining to all of cyber-space about being pregnant and feeling ill. Just thought you'd all like to know.
Hopefully the next post will be much happier. :P
This is the 3rd time I've truly thrown up real food since becoming pregnant.
Yes, you read that right.
I'm pregnant. About 7-8 weeks a long as of Wednesday. I give a range because I still haven't had my first sonogram, but my Doctor did confirm my pregnancy with a blood test (on a Wednesday) and told me I was 3-4 weeks a long when she gave me the results. So yeah, until an OB gives me an official week number and due date, it's between weeks and end of July - Beginning of August for the due date.
So... I've joined the world-wide group of expecting mothers that have that lovely thing commonly called "morning sickness."
This is a curse.
Basically, I didn't have any morning sickness whatsoever when I was pregnant with Kayley. So, this is all new to me. So far I've managed to gag myself on my toothbrush every morning since I was 4-5 weeks a long, some times throwing up stomach juices (I intentionally brush my teeth before I eat).
But, as for real food loss - only 3 meals.
Let me say this much - being able to manage my blood sugars accurately with this pregnancy has been horrible. When I throw up - I go super low considering I've already taken insulin for the food I ate. And if I correct my blood sugar with juice or a capri sun... well... lets just say that juice in general is not sitting well on my tummy. Basically comes right back up within a half hour.
So yeah... I'm sitting in front of my computer at 4:56am with my pink "hospital bucket" (the cute rectangular one I got from the last time I was in a maternity ward - but never had to use) in case I don't stop heaving for the next little while, whining to all of cyber-space about being pregnant and feeling ill. Just thought you'd all like to know.
Hopefully the next post will be much happier. :P
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Unemployment blues
I'm convinced that I shouldn't have a job.
I want to be a stay-at-home wife.
That being said...
I got fired again.
My feelings toward this news are:
Bitter, depressed, stressed, self-questioning, distraught, manic, afraid, uncertain.
I wish I had a job.
More than that, I wish I knew how we are going to be able to pay our bills, and maintain having insurance because my stupid disease is very expensive.
In short, life goes on.
Now I'm just most worried about the quality of life I'll be able to lead emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
I wasn't ready for another kick while I was still down...
I want to be a stay-at-home wife.
That being said...
I got fired again.
My feelings toward this news are:
Bitter, depressed, stressed, self-questioning, distraught, manic, afraid, uncertain.
I wish I had a job.
More than that, I wish I knew how we are going to be able to pay our bills, and maintain having insurance because my stupid disease is very expensive.
In short, life goes on.
Now I'm just most worried about the quality of life I'll be able to lead emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
I wasn't ready for another kick while I was still down...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Share the Love
I like this idea for "things to do" on my days off.
That's right, I have a job now. There will be another blog about this subject later.
So anyway... feel free to read on and leave a comment. :)
The first five people to respond to this blog will get something made by me! It will be MY choice of course and will be made for YOU. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
2. What I create will be for you.
3. It'll be done within a year - hopefully by the end of this one.
4. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be sewn, painted, written, or maybe something totally random that I come up with on a whim, etc.
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. So leave a comment so I can get creative and be sure to "share the love".
Love you all!
Krystin
That's right, I have a job now. There will be another blog about this subject later.
So anyway... feel free to read on and leave a comment. :)
The first five people to respond to this blog will get something made by me! It will be MY choice of course and will be made for YOU. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
2. What I create will be for you.
3. It'll be done within a year - hopefully by the end of this one.
4. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be sewn, painted, written, or maybe something totally random that I come up with on a whim, etc.
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. So leave a comment so I can get creative and be sure to "share the love".
Love you all!
Krystin
Friday, June 26, 2009
My California Adventure
So back in May of 2009 Jay and I decided to take a fun trip to Southern California.
It's remarkable that I haven't blogged about it before now however.
I've been more than neglecting my own blog as of late it seems.
Anyway, so on the 14th of May, Jay and I flew into LAX for my Disneyland/California adventure.
I'll admit that my previous experience in Southern California at the theme parks was not enjoyable, or a memory I wanted to ever have to re-live, but my thought process centered around this: "If and when my children ask me if/when I took a trip to Disneyland, Universal Studios, the California Beach, or anything a long those lines, I wanted to have a POSITIVE experience there to tell them about." So - considering Disney was offering a free 1 day park pass for your birthday - to celebrate your birthday with Disney (it was their 50th birthday in 2009) we decided to take the bait and have a fun trip down in L.A., staying at my brother and sister in-law's apartment, to do the typical Southern California sight-seeing.
So... here goes in reverse order!
Our last stop on our trip was to Universal Studios - we took the tour, and rode most of the rides in the park (I'm pretty sure one was closed down so we couldn't get that one in).
Unfortunately for us, our day was cut short at the park as they were hosting Prom for one (or possibly a couple) schools that evening. I wish they had mentioned this before we purchased the tickets to get into the park to begin with, but... alas, they didn't.
The day prior to our Universal adventures was my birthday (May 15th for anybody that doesn't know, or wants to keep track).
This, of course, was our Disneyland day.
We opted for Disneyland rather than California Adventure - so next time we're down in that area of the world we'll have to hit the other park (maybe the "giving a day of service for a free ticket to any Disney park for a day" trade-off in 2010 will provide for that incentive).
Again, the pictures are in reverse - but it shows the major highlights of the day (including the $8 plate of overcooked spaghetti & meatballs I had for lunch - ouch!)
I actually got my official Mickey Mouse ears this trip - expensive, but worth the memory they provide.
And a bunch of balloons!!
No... I'm just kidding... *sighs* the guy selling these balloons was in the bottom right-hand corner of the picture holding fast to his merchandise.
I also found my knight in *shining* armor! Sorry Jay - but trust me, that gear is heavy and uncomfortable to wear!
This one's of the tree house bridge (formerly Swiss Family Robinson tree house - now it is Tarzan themed).
On board the Mark Twain! This was a leisurely boat ride - welcome toward the end of a long day of hoofing it around the whole park.
Making my birthday wish at the wishing well!
I found this sign to be pretty funny. :)
Why did the *headless* chicken cross the road?
I told Jay to heed this sign's warning...
but he didn't listen... *sighs*
The infamous small world clock tower (I took so many pictures on this ride - and no, I will not burden you all with them here).
Mmmmmm, that $$ lunch mentioned above.
A happy Jay with his $$ pizza!
Look who I found!! Goofy!
The day prior to our Disneyland excursion was our 1st full day in CA.
That evening my brother Diego (aka Ben) and his wife Mariela convinced us to go to a local climbing gym with them.
I had a good time, but my muscles were pretty sore a couple of days later.
We also went out for frozen yogurt (or was it custard?) afterward - a worthwhile venture!
Earlier that same day - on our own because Diego and Mariela both had to work - at Venice Beach. We got some sun, and had a fun time wandering a long all the shops, and almost all the way to Santa Monica beach, but we decided to turn back before we made the whole trip.
So that pretty much sums up our entire trip. Short, but sweet. We had a good trip, with lots and lots of pictures. Hopefully I'll figure out the problem with uploading all of those to Facebook (I have tried to upload them at least 5 times over the last 8 months to no avail).
So now that you're updated on our lives to the point of mid May 2009, maybe I'll put another post up from last year in the coming weeks (or maybe not - no promises).
It's remarkable that I haven't blogged about it before now however.
I've been more than neglecting my own blog as of late it seems.
Anyway, so on the 14th of May, Jay and I flew into LAX for my Disneyland/California adventure.
I'll admit that my previous experience in Southern California at the theme parks was not enjoyable, or a memory I wanted to ever have to re-live, but my thought process centered around this: "If and when my children ask me if/when I took a trip to Disneyland, Universal Studios, the California Beach, or anything a long those lines, I wanted to have a POSITIVE experience there to tell them about." So - considering Disney was offering a free 1 day park pass for your birthday - to celebrate your birthday with Disney (it was their 50th birthday in 2009) we decided to take the bait and have a fun trip down in L.A., staying at my brother and sister in-law's apartment, to do the typical Southern California sight-seeing.
So... here goes in reverse order!
Our last stop on our trip was to Universal Studios - we took the tour, and rode most of the rides in the park (I'm pretty sure one was closed down so we couldn't get that one in).
Unfortunately for us, our day was cut short at the park as they were hosting Prom for one (or possibly a couple) schools that evening. I wish they had mentioned this before we purchased the tickets to get into the park to begin with, but... alas, they didn't.
The day prior to our Universal adventures was my birthday (May 15th for anybody that doesn't know, or wants to keep track).
This, of course, was our Disneyland day.
We opted for Disneyland rather than California Adventure - so next time we're down in that area of the world we'll have to hit the other park (maybe the "giving a day of service for a free ticket to any Disney park for a day" trade-off in 2010 will provide for that incentive).
Again, the pictures are in reverse - but it shows the major highlights of the day (including the $8 plate of overcooked spaghetti & meatballs I had for lunch - ouch!)
I actually got my official Mickey Mouse ears this trip - expensive, but worth the memory they provide.
And a bunch of balloons!!
No... I'm just kidding... *sighs* the guy selling these balloons was in the bottom right-hand corner of the picture holding fast to his merchandise.
I also found my knight in *shining* armor! Sorry Jay - but trust me, that gear is heavy and uncomfortable to wear!
This one's of the tree house bridge (formerly Swiss Family Robinson tree house - now it is Tarzan themed).
On board the Mark Twain! This was a leisurely boat ride - welcome toward the end of a long day of hoofing it around the whole park.
Making my birthday wish at the wishing well!
I found this sign to be pretty funny. :)
Why did the *headless* chicken cross the road?
I told Jay to heed this sign's warning...
but he didn't listen... *sighs*
The infamous small world clock tower (I took so many pictures on this ride - and no, I will not burden you all with them here).
Mmmmmm, that $$ lunch mentioned above.
A happy Jay with his $$ pizza!
Look who I found!! Goofy!
The day prior to our Disneyland excursion was our 1st full day in CA.
That evening my brother Diego (aka Ben) and his wife Mariela convinced us to go to a local climbing gym with them.
I had a good time, but my muscles were pretty sore a couple of days later.
We also went out for frozen yogurt (or was it custard?) afterward - a worthwhile venture!
Earlier that same day - on our own because Diego and Mariela both had to work - at Venice Beach. We got some sun, and had a fun time wandering a long all the shops, and almost all the way to Santa Monica beach, but we decided to turn back before we made the whole trip.
So that pretty much sums up our entire trip. Short, but sweet. We had a good trip, with lots and lots of pictures. Hopefully I'll figure out the problem with uploading all of those to Facebook (I have tried to upload them at least 5 times over the last 8 months to no avail).
So now that you're updated on our lives to the point of mid May 2009, maybe I'll put another post up from last year in the coming weeks (or maybe not - no promises).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
California Here We Come!
I figured I'd better put a brief update on our lives here (considering the last two blogs weren't really about 'us' per say).
Jay and I are still living our everyday 9-5 (or 10-6 in Jay's case) lives.
This past weekend we spent a good amount of time cleaning up our apartment (because it was driving me nuts!) and grocery shopping.
While we were out and about we also decided to get us a new pet fish (sadly our almost 2-year-old beta, Sprout, bit the dust on Monday last week :( and I missed him). I cried when I came home to find his poor white body laid to rest on the bottom of the bowl. He hadn't been doing too well toward the end as it was.
The new beta isn't nearly as blue as Sprout was, but he sure is pretty. He has a lot of red in his fins on top of the blue. The red reminded me of fire, so I was thinking of naming him Fawkes (after the Phoenix in Harry Potter) before finally deciding on Dante.
In the small tank next to Dante's bowl are some other recent additions to our family purchased at least a month ago. They are: Grog (an African Dwarf water frog), Yoda (a golden snail) and Chewy (another golden snail). I'll be adding pictures later.
Originally Yoda was Sprout's companion, but for the week we were without sprout I put him in with the frog and other snail.
I was planning on putting him back in the fish bowl with our new family addition, but Dante won't let him even emerge from his shell when he's in there, so he might be relocated into the frog tank permanently. Only time will tell (I'm considering putting him back in the fish bowl in the dark so that he has a fighting chance of getting out of his shell and getting a bite to eat before the fish wakes back up).
So... that's the family currently.
On to future plans!
With my birthday coming up this Friday Jay and I decided to give in to the Disney commercials and register my birthday online for a free park pass to Disneyland. This, of course, means we have to get out to California to put it to use on Friday.
Therefore, we will be flying into LAX Thursday morning and staying with my Brother and Sister-in-law (Diego and Mariela). I think we'll be renting a car as well, I'd better give them both a call today to check on that before we get there.
So, in the next few days plan on seeing a TON of photos from our trip!
Other future plans we have in store are starting our family. There's no 'bun in the oven' yet, but there will be one soon (I can't very well be pregnant before going on a bunch of roller coasters in California).
This is the reason I'm getting the apartment cleaned up too. Need to get things ready for another person who'll be living with us (and in our bedroom none-the-less).
Anyway, that's what's going on in our crazy lives lately.
Come back soon to see pictures of our pets and vacation!
Jay and I are still living our everyday 9-5 (or 10-6 in Jay's case) lives.
This past weekend we spent a good amount of time cleaning up our apartment (because it was driving me nuts!) and grocery shopping.
While we were out and about we also decided to get us a new pet fish (sadly our almost 2-year-old beta, Sprout, bit the dust on Monday last week :( and I missed him). I cried when I came home to find his poor white body laid to rest on the bottom of the bowl. He hadn't been doing too well toward the end as it was.
The new beta isn't nearly as blue as Sprout was, but he sure is pretty. He has a lot of red in his fins on top of the blue. The red reminded me of fire, so I was thinking of naming him Fawkes (after the Phoenix in Harry Potter) before finally deciding on Dante.
In the small tank next to Dante's bowl are some other recent additions to our family purchased at least a month ago. They are: Grog (an African Dwarf water frog), Yoda (a golden snail) and Chewy (another golden snail). I'll be adding pictures later.
Originally Yoda was Sprout's companion, but for the week we were without sprout I put him in with the frog and other snail.
I was planning on putting him back in the fish bowl with our new family addition, but Dante won't let him even emerge from his shell when he's in there, so he might be relocated into the frog tank permanently. Only time will tell (I'm considering putting him back in the fish bowl in the dark so that he has a fighting chance of getting out of his shell and getting a bite to eat before the fish wakes back up).
So... that's the family currently.
On to future plans!
With my birthday coming up this Friday Jay and I decided to give in to the Disney commercials and register my birthday online for a free park pass to Disneyland. This, of course, means we have to get out to California to put it to use on Friday.
Therefore, we will be flying into LAX Thursday morning and staying with my Brother and Sister-in-law (Diego and Mariela). I think we'll be renting a car as well, I'd better give them both a call today to check on that before we get there.
So, in the next few days plan on seeing a TON of photos from our trip!
Other future plans we have in store are starting our family. There's no 'bun in the oven' yet, but there will be one soon (I can't very well be pregnant before going on a bunch of roller coasters in California).
This is the reason I'm getting the apartment cleaned up too. Need to get things ready for another person who'll be living with us (and in our bedroom none-the-less).
Anyway, that's what's going on in our crazy lives lately.
Come back soon to see pictures of our pets and vacation!
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