I’ve had a really hard time coming up with what to write to myself, that’s why this is so late.
Times are tough. Life isn’t fair. You know how it goes.
I know you find yourself often hating the situation you are in. Work isn’t easy, money is tight, and depression drains you of your energy. But… don’t get caught up in the here and now. You have a very positive future to look forward to. You’re expecting you and Jay’s first child. You’ve dreamed of and prayed for this since becoming engaged to him. You made it. It’s actually going to happen. Boy or girl, you’re going to be a great mom.
Jay is going to find a job. You know that. It’s just a matter of time and persistence.
You’re a great friend. You always have been. You make other people’s days a little lighter with your warm smile and cheerful disposition (even if you’re faking it). You have the power to move mountains with your positive attitude toward finding the best in crappy situations. It sounds ridiculously like a fortune cookie, but it’s true.
Don’t be afraid to continue to stand up for equality at work. Don’t be afraid to be an advocate for others. You are one of those unique individuals that can be bold enough to speak up when others aren’t or cannot. Don’t lose that quality, even if you’re continually fired for it. It will be a huge asset in your life and will serve a great purpose for you and those around you. Don’t back down from saying or doing what is right.
Set attainable goals for yourself. You often find yourself “coming up short” because you’re afraid of setting realistic goals and losing your desire or willpower to see them through. You can achieve them. You just have to allow yourself to. Baby steps, Rome wasn’t built in one day.
Read your scriptures, even if it’s only one verse a day. You know you need to. There is power in the Gospel that is bigger and greater than you. Allow it to work in your life. Don’t be afraid to take the first step by letting it in. You’ve always been a “fence sitter.” Stop doing that to yourself. Jump in, both feet, and allow yourself to fail a few times. You learn more by participating rather than watching life pass you by and others receive the blessings you so desire for you and your family. Start actively playing a role in your own salvation. Those basic Sunday school answers, do them. You never have consistently, so start.
Go to bed on time, even on your days off. You know how vital sleep is to your health. Stop making excuses to not or finding things to distract you. Go to bed. When you feel better life seems happier. Your attitude is improved, and you are less stressed all around. Don’t compromise yourself by not following the basics.
Be kind to your husband. He has to make the decision to be “in this” with you every single day. Stop taking him for granted and remember that. Love him unconditionally. Remember what you are both striving for together as a family. Play an active part in that. Don’t just stand by and wonder why things aren’t getting any easier or better. It takes constant effort and work. You will feel better about yourself for putting in the effort. No regrets.
Love yourself. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. So many people have found it in their hearts to forgive you for those things you have done. Allow you to forgive yourself. Stop carrying around that constant anguish. It only drags you down. Allow yourself to move on.
Do everything you can so that your home is the optimal place for your son or daughter to learn and grow. Love is the basic necessity. Love of husband and wife toward one another, and love toward your son/daughter. It’s that basic. Everything else is chaff in the wind. Make sure you give your child the best start possible, just how you did for Kayley.
Enjoy the ride of life. There will always be ups and down, the point is to go through them all and thank the Lord for the ride. It’s a beautiful journey. Don’t miss out by staying too focused on one point or another. Embrace the big picture. Thank God for those blessings you often miss when you focus on the negative. A thankful heart is a happy one.
Read this letter to yourself on a yearly basis to keep your focus.
Endure to the end, you will make it.
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