I'm pretty sure that everybody officially "following" my blog knows that I am a birth mom. If you don't follow though, and you are unsure of what a birth mom is... I've provided the definitions to common phrases meaning the same thing:
— n the woman who gives birth to a child, regardless of whether she is the genetic mother or subsequently brings up the child
- n a biological mother (birth mother) or biological father (birth father); a biological parent.
So basically, I had a child, almost 5 years ago now, but placed her for adoption. I haven't seen her in person since the 2nd day I spent in the hospital with her (also the day I signed the adoption papers and gave her to her parents).
In the arrangements made between Kayley's (my daughter) parents and myself, we agreed that she and I would not have an in-person relationship unless she asked for one. I was the one to actually make this request because of a conversation I had had with a very close friend of mine (who was 65 at the time, and also adopted). He had said to me: "Krystin, you need to be open to the idea that she may never want to know you. I've never wanted to meet my birth parents. I knew I was adopted, but I had a mom and a dad. I was content. I never needed to 'look into' that part of my life to make myself whole as a person. If these people that you are giving her away to are anything like my parents were, she may never need or want to know you. You need to be prepared to accept that."
So, since I placed Kayley for adoption, I haven't ever "met" her in person. I've seen videos and pictures of her online via Facebook and her parents blog. I've stayed in touch with her adoptive mother, Stephanie, via e-mail and text as well. I've been content with this. I even share my story on adoption with random strangers when the subject arises (which it does quite often when you're pregnant and people ask "is this your first?").
Well, about 3 days ago I got a text message from Stephanie letting me know that, "out of the blue," Kayley asked if she could write me a letter. I responded with affirmation that that was ok, and that I was looking forward to reading it.
The letter arrived today. I opened it. After "aww-ing" at the picture on the front of the card, I opened it and read the first sentence. I started bawling immediately.
I'm not sure if I can describe the emotions of relief, joy, and absolute love I have for this little girl and her family completely overcame me.
So, I'm planning a trip in the near future, as soon as this baby gets here (hopefully before and/on around the 26th - because that is Kayley's birthday) to go meet my daughter. I can't tell you how much this means to me.
There really aren't words to express the love a birth mother has for a child she places for adoption. Anyone who says otherwise is gravely misinformed.