My giggler

What's new in the Christopherson world?!

Autumn giggles!

Halloween

Autumn was "The Scarecrow" from the wizard of Oz this year.

I ended up being a scary looking Dorothy to go with it.
(I did try really hard to find a Dorothy Dress that was modest, but that didn't happen, so I wore my Capris underneath - but forgot to wear socks)





But, on the plus side - Autumn got to meet her Great Grandma April for the first time on Halloween!



We stopped off at as many relatives' houses as we could for our "trick-or-treat" run.
Namely: Great Grandma Jackie's, Great Aunt Cindy's, Great Grandma April's, Great Aunt Connie's, and Great Aunt Cherry's.
It was a great night for visiting with family!

All My Children

I figured I should put the pictures up of Kayley, Autumn, and myself up since I have a couple to share now!

Home for the Holidays

I can't believe how close Thanksgiving, and even Christmas are getting!

With that thought in mind I figured I would update everyone on what our Holiday plans are shaping up to be...

We're moving to Boise, Idaho!!

Jay, just this week, accepted an offer to work for Micron Technology, Inc.
He will be employed as a full time Dry Etch Engineer.
When they extended the offer they didn't set a start date, but asked how soon we could "get up there."
Jay will be talking to the HR contact tomorrow to give them the date we've decided we could make it by (the 28th of this month... yes only 17 days away), and we'll be turning in a rental application tomorrow with a hold deposit for a 2 bed/1.5 bath townhouse once I make sure it's a ground level entrance so we can move the piano.
Everything is moving so fast!

My to-do list for the next few days includes, but is not limited to:
•Call Autumn's pediatrician and see if she has any recommendations for a good doc in Boise
•Call my doctor & repeat
•Pick up change of address form at Post Office
•Possibly go through some stuff and make a DI donation
•Post stuff online to sell:
couches, sewing machine inside it's own table, coffee table, entertainment center, various odds and ends...
•Call Daisy Maids and get quotes for "moving out" cleaning including carpet cleaning (to ensure we get our renters deposit back)
•Call Questar Gas to give them "turn off" date
•Call Rocky Mountain power & repeat
•Call Comcast & repeat
•Call car repair shop and get price for new headlight (it just barely stopped working... perfect timing)
•Call Insurance company and inform them of move & go over all the changes to our policy that'll make, etc
•Keep being a good mom in the process
•Pack a little bit
•Call moving companies and schedule one to move us (I'm not having us do all our own packing/moving with Jay still working part time 'till we move and me having Autumn to take care of while doing everything else... no way)
•Change address for bank, credit card, hospital billing, etc
•Try not to freak out or slow down during any of this

Yep... I'm going to be crazy busy over the next couple of weeks.

So... for Thanksgiving weekend we'll be moving to our new home.
Yes, we will be moving 'home for the holidays.'
Maybe we'll actually get a T-day meal somewhere... but who knows at this point.

For Christmas?
As soon as Jay has his scheduled nailed down with Micron (and knows what days he'll have off) we'll be buying plane tickets home to Colorado.
On the Christopherson side everyone will be coming home, so we will try to get us into a photo session at the same place we all went 2 years ago before any of the babies were born. It'll be great to have professional pictures of the 3 grand-babies all together in addition to the family.

My little brother will also be coming home for Christmas, so he'll be able to see/meet Autumn for the first time. Yay!

I'm so excited about all of this!
Jay & I have been praying (more like begging) for a long time that he would get a job. It just so happens that he got one just in time (because if he hadn't I would have to go back to work) and a week before his birthday to boot!

Now I have to figure out how we're going to celebrate his b-day this next week... Hmmm, maybe I'll host a "moving away" party for our friends and family?!
Or maybe not... that would just add another HUGE to-do onto my list.

I just hope I have enough energy to get everything done, in a reasonably organized fashion, and without loosing my patience.
I'm stressed out! But, in a good way at least!

Before I know it it'll be 2012!

But for now... happy 11/11/11 everybody!

It's about love

I spent this past weekend with Kayley and her family.

I can't describe to you the overwhelming sense of confirmation that I did the best thing for my daughter 5 years ago when I placed her for adoption.
She is with the right family.

She was meant to be their daughter/sister/granddaughter/niece/cousin.

I met up with James, Stephanie, Kayley, Maggie, James' sister, brother, sister in-law, nieces, nephew and parents all on the temple grounds Saturday morning.

Jay and I were late getting there because little miss Autumn spit up all over her first outfit - so we almost missed them.

I dashed out of the waiting area for patrons not going into the temple when I saw them walk past the window toward the temple grounds exit. I scrambled as fast as my legs would carry me (unencumbered by the baby stroller that was waiting with Jay - Autumn tucked inside) and called out "Stephanie! Stephanie! Steph!" 'till I got her attention.

Actually, I got her mother in-laws attention first who echoed my cry to Stephanie.

It was like I caught up with one of my best friends.
Her face lit up when she saw me and promptly came over to give me a hug!

Of course she asked: "Are your husband and baby here?!"

I sheepishly answered that yes, they were, and that we had gotten there later than we had expected to.
We had a brief conversation as they were headed over to the reflecting pool to take pictures with the photographer she had hired - but I told her that I would go grab Jay and Autumn and meet them all over there.

As Jay and I walked over toward this group of practically strangers I felt very anxious - how was everyone going to react to meeting me?! I was practically petrified.

All that melted away immediately when we caught up to them and - James' mother Beverly took me into her arms in a very warm and tight embrace saying: "I've wanted to give you a hug for a very long time."

Every little tiny worry and doubt in my mind vanished. It was confirmation all over again that these people were exactly who God wanted my little girl's family to be.

Stephanie introduced me to Kayley - who immediately gave me a hug, and to the rest of the family that was there.

James' dad also gave me a very warm embrace and whispered words in my ear that brought tears to my eyes: "Thank you so very much for your sacrifice."
I could only respond "you're welcome."

What else could I say?! I knew 5 years ago that James and Stephanie were supposed to be my little girls parents. I couldn't have asked for more than that - but she was given so much more. She was given a complete family of people that love and adore her. Something I hadn't even considered in my shallow 20 year-old mind when I gave her away. I just knew that it was about love.

That's what it's always been about.
I love my daughter. I've always loved her. Deeper than I can explain to anyone that has never had children, or any child that they love or care for.
I loved her enough to know that, even though I loved her more than I ever thought possible, I couldn't be the best mom for her when I was that young. When I was still growing up myself. When there were years of uncertainty before me. When I didn't have someone to be her daddy by my side - married to me. I wasn't my daughter's best option. I loved her enough to know that and to give her the best thing I could - a complete family. A forever family.

Saturday confirmed all of that, all over to me.

It's about love.

It always has been - and it always will be.

I love you Kayley.
I love you Stephanie & James.
I love your family.
Thank you for letting me be a part of it.


When saying goodbye to James, Stephanie, Maggie and Kayley on Monday - Kayley gave me a bouquet of flowers picked in the grass where we were, gave me a hug and said "Goodbye, I love you."
She said to me the same four words I said to her 5 years earlier.
I cannot deny that it's about love.

Guess what?!

I had a baby!

Autumn Lynn Christopherson arrived at 7:27pm on July 15, 2011.
She weighed in at 8lbs, 7.6oz and measured 19 inches long.

She has a full head of brown hair, and bright blue eyes.
Right off the bat both Jay and I agreed that she looks like a "Hellewell."

Daddy got to hold her first

Mommy got a chance later.


She wasn't thrilled about her bath.


She made a lot of noise that night as she slept because she still had a bit of fluid in her lungs to clean out. The nurses called it "singing."

I'm delighted to be a mom.


I don't think anybody could deny the existence of God in their right mind after seeing/going through labor and bringing a miracle into existence.


I can feel my Savior's love - in all the world around me.
I am ever aware of his love for me, for Jay, and this beautiful little girl that I get to call my own.
I've been truly blessed.

Kayley Faith

I'm pretty sure that everybody officially "following" my blog knows that I am a birth mom.
If you don't follow though, and you are unsure of what a birth mom is...
I've provided the definitions to common phrases meaning the same thing:

birth mother

— n
the woman who gives birth to a child, regardless of whether she is the genetic mother or subsequently brings up the child

birth parent 

- n
a biological mother (birth mother) or biological father (birth father); a biological parent.

So basically, I had a child, almost 5 years ago now, but placed her for adoption.
I haven't seen her in person since the 2nd day I spent in the hospital with her (also the day I signed the adoption papers and gave her to her parents).

In the arrangements made between Kayley's (my daughter) parents and myself, we agreed that she and I would not have an in-person relationship unless she asked for one.
I was the one to actually make this request because of a conversation I had had with a very close friend of mine (who was 65 at the time, and also adopted). He had said to me: "Krystin, you need to be open to the idea that she may never want to know you. I've never wanted to meet my birth parents. I knew I was adopted, but I had a mom and a dad. I was content. I never needed to 'look into' that part of my life to make myself whole as a person. If these people that you are giving her away to are anything like my parents were, she may never need or want to know you. You need to be prepared to accept that."

So, since I placed Kayley for adoption, I haven't ever "met" her in person. I've seen videos and pictures of her online via Facebook and her parents blog. I've stayed in touch with her adoptive mother, Stephanie, via e-mail and text as well. I've been content with this. I even share my story on adoption with random strangers when the subject arises (which it does quite often when you're pregnant and people ask "is this your first?").

Well, about 3 days ago I got a text message from Stephanie letting me know that, "out of the blue," Kayley asked if she could write me a letter. I responded with affirmation that that was ok, and that I was looking forward to reading it.

The letter arrived today. I opened it.

After "aww-ing" at the picture on the front of the card, I opened it and read the first sentence.

I started bawling immediately.

I'm not sure if I can describe the emotions of relief, joy, and absolute love I have for this little girl and her family completely overcame me.

So, I'm planning a trip in the near future, as soon as this baby gets here (hopefully before and/on around the 26th - because that is Kayley's birthday) to go meet my daughter.
I can't tell you how much this means to me.

There really aren't words to express the love a birth mother has for a child she places for adoption. Anyone who says otherwise is gravely misinformed.